I haven't posted in a long while. Shame. Shame is why I haven't posted. I let myself down. I fell back into being comfortable with being a fat f*ck. See, after a while I stopped feeling guilty about eating my weight in lard. When the guilt is gone, so is the "give a f*ck." Pathetic to say the least. I gave in to stress. I said, "hell yes, let's go to the fair and eat a hot beef sundae." Oh and don't forget the funnel cake with powdered sugar. Back to McDonald's on a regular basis. Back to super size portions for my super size gut. When I do break a sweat, I wring out my armpits into a frying pan and use the grease to fry up an egg. OK, not really, but you get the drift. I have slumped back into super slug status. It's really too bad after all of that work to trim down. You may call me a failure. You may call me a quitter. You may call me fat boy. These words, however, will not phase me.
So why am I posting again. Because I feel like shit. Energy down, belly getting bigger, double chin (or triple depending on the source) coming back. I don't particularly like any of these facts about myself. I read that book by Dr. Kessler and it didn't help me one damn bit. It explained the reason for becoming addicted to sugar, fat, and salt. It didn't, however, curb my cravings. So I am back to square one. Beginning anew. No contests. No biggest loser. No trainers. Just me against the cheetoh bag. I have started by re-introducing myself to exercise. I got a Garmin GPS for my bday and I have been running once again. Taking it slow as to not jack up my knees with my extra weight. I haven't slipped back to that original picture of a portly pig that I presented. I can feel myself headed back to big panus status. Careful people, I did say "panus." Looking forward to blazing this new trail.
Hungry
2 comments:
Motivation comes from within, not a book. You already know what you have to do, so all you need is commitment (sound like a broad, don't I?). I think it sucks that as a human being, I can decide that I can slowly kill myself just by doing the things I enjoy (i.e. eating). I have been on and off the wagon many times. I try to do more group activities so i can be accountable to somebody; because i am not very good at being accountable to myself- my personal history proves that.
Good luck buddy. Remember, you are worth the effort and sacrifices you endure.
Missed you..
Having same problems....seems like an endless cycle sometimes. Wish they did more research on fixing this issue. Perhaps we wouldn't need all that other crap to treat a disease.
Wait....maybe it's a conspiracy. lol.
I'm pullin' for ya!
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