Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Still, I feel kind of pissed off that my body won't handle what it used to handle. I don't want to lose agility and flexibility. I want to stop the aging process. No worries, I am not going to dye my hair and get botox. I am really not a superficial guy. I just don't want to lose function. It is sort of depressing, isn't it. Getting older. Ever seen the movie Rocky Balboa. He is an "older" guy who used to kick ass and now is trying to come back and do it again. The problem is he looks older even though he tried to pack on the muscle and get cut. Bummer. I guess he is probably in better shape than I am. I wish I could go back. John Mayer sings a tune called "Stop This Train." This song is meaningful to me. It expresses my sentiment about getting older and wanting to slow down the train. This "getting older" thing resonates even more in today's online society. We now have Facebook where we can see what our friends from high school are doing with their lives. People have families and jobs and responsibilities. I want to go back to the days of carefree bliss. I want to compete in swim meets again. I want to play backyard football games with my buddies. I want to swim at the pool all day during the summer and come home with a suntan and ferocious appetite. I want to roll around in the grass and get chiggers on my ass cheeks. I want to go back.
But instead, I will go ice down my knee and take some ibuprofen for my aching body. And tomorrow I will eat some more fiber to keep the bowels in order and the cholesterol down. Damn, do you see what I mean? Oh well,
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Today I ran 4 miles outside.
Today I didn't eat any fast food or restaurants at all!! (What do ya think about that, Dan?)
During today's run I went a bit too far out. I was worried that I'd run too far to get back home in time to get to work on time. But, I made it. There were other people out running on the trail I was on. It was dark. I worried about getting mugged or attacked and that made me run a bit faster. Amazing what catecholamines will do for a person. The weather was beautiful!! 40's F. I long for spring.
I know I have beat this horse to death, but I must reiterate how much the running does for my mental health. The old Supertramp song said-"there are times when all the world's asleep, the questions run too deep for such a simple man." This is my psyche. This is how my brain functions. I need to clear it out and vigorous balls to the walls exercise does it. It is like a brain enema that flushes out all of the bullshit thoughts.
Joints feeling great. I am encouraged by my progress. More later....
Monday, February 23, 2009
On a lighter note, today I ate a 90 calorie granola bar and water for breakfast. Then, I had soup, salad and a roast beef and cheddar sandwich with iced tea.
2 miles on treadmill
Ever feel like you are up against a giant wall that you cannot even fathom getting past. Every night I tell myself-I will eat better tomorrow (for all 3 meals). Then every day I return to my old ways. If only my intensity for better eating was half of the level it is for exercise, I would be ripped and fit. I am struggling.
How can I stop craving french fries? Hot, salty fries. Crisp, tasty. Do I need to do aversion therapy where someone whips me every time I eat fries. Is there an antabuse drug for french fries and burgers?
You know what else I love. Bread pudding with hot cream and cinnamon/sugar. Served with an iced cold Milk. This is comfort, my friends. This says: I will hold you and rock you gently to the sweet sounds of Marvin Gaye. It says: I am your friend. You will feel full and content to sleep like a grizzly bear in a warm winter's den. It says: go ahead, have seconds. More is better. COMFORT-defined explicitly.
Now, a healthy bedtime snack would be a fat free yogurt. While I do like yogurt, it doesn't send my brain the same soothing message. It says: I will contribute to healthy digestion by providing live active cultures to nurture the belly. Hmmm, not the same feeling as with the bread pudding.
Anyone find it strange that I personify these foods? Oh well, here in lies my problems.
Hungry (and weak)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Cardio: Treadmill intervals for 40 minutes (3.4 miles)
Circuit Training: 30 min. including core work
Cardio II: Swimming--25 yd sprints, 50 yard sprints
Now, I know that I kicked out more calories than I took in today. (What do ya think about that Mr. Trainer?)
omelet with Roma tomatoes and turkey breast and cheese
subway 6" spicy Italian with loads of veggies (cucumber, lettuce, extra tomato, jalapenos) and spicy mustard, Iced tea
I wonder if my trainer burned off this many calories today.
Let me tell you something: I am on my way to ultimate fitness. I have the motivation and determination of a bull in Spain awaiting the run of his life. Subway had Jared as their hero (no pun intended). I haven't yet found a national sponsor, but I bet they are scouting the hell out of me right now. Or maybe I am full of endorphin buzz right now and my ego is slightly over-inflated. Regardless, the changes I have made have astounded me.
My trainer is a mean ass bastard. But, I know he genuinely cares about my well-being or he wouldn't devote so much energy to my cause. I needed a military style drill Sargent to bust my fat, cheeto-eating ass off the couch and do something. I am indebted to him for this.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
- Whole wheat spaghetti with meat sauce
- baked chicken (shake and bake), rice-a-roni
- meatloaf with potatoes
- Mac and cheese
- steak or burgers on grill
- fried chicken
- frozen pizzas
Here is a list of foods that I would like to learn how to prepare:
- Fish of any kind
- other low fat chicken recipes
- stir fry
- Thai food
- other vegetables/casseroles
- other seafood
Your help would be greatly appreciated. I need new choices for home cooked meals.
My trainer is hell bent that I keep my eating out under control and I would agree that he has a point. I just have a limited repertoire of menus.
One of my favorite foods to eat is Samurai Sam's yaki soba. I could eat this every day. I know it is full of carbs but I need quite a few carbs to keep up my energy for my workouts, right?
I have been trying to follow the following rules with regard to my food choices:
- total fat less than 10 grams per serving
- sodium less than 500 mg per serving
- no trans fats
- high fiber
Just need a few ideas to get me started.
For lunch today, I ate at Wendys:
Large French Fries-550 calories
Having my trainer bust my balls about this for months to come-Priceless!
Not feeling the best today, I took a nap after eating this meal. Woke up feeling like hell. I tried the treadmill but felt like I had a pound of grease in my gut. What the hell am I doing? My health is improving from exercising but I would agree that my diet is poisoning my true success. I have got to change. Please don't give up on me yet, people. I still have some fight in me.
As a matter of fact, I am playing another game of indoor soccer in the morning (no, I am not kidding). I think there might be some budding talent with me in that sport. I'll let you know how the game went tomorrow.
"Do or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda, Jedi Master
Friday, February 20, 2009
The road which I travel upon is wrought with peaks and valleys. I fully intend to take care of my body and mind so that I might be prepared for any obstacles placed before me. Buying good running shoes is the foundation for it all. What the hell was that? Sorry, I got a little Shakespearean for a bit.
I am sore and tired and ready for slumber.
Cheers to all,
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Feeling dissatisfied with the a.m. workout, I went back to the gym at 6 p.m. this evening to hit the treadmill. Running is my first love and it seems to clear my head the best. I get into a rhythm. As I have said before, the meditative quality of running soothes my soul. This workout went much better than this morning. Three mile run with some sprints interspersed. I felt great when I was done.
Tonight I went to the grocery store to get some fiber filled cereal and bananas. While I was there I picked up the March 2009 issue of Runner's World. It has some awesome tips for injury prevention. I really dig that magazine. It is full of stories about the passion and addiction of running. Other people's achievements are fascinating to me. In this issue, they talk about this dude that is 85 years old and has run 100 marathons. Holy shit, that is awesome.
Breakfast: omelet with Roma tomatoes and cheese, whole grain toast
Lunch: Tuna fish sandwich, baked chips, ice water
Supper: Chicken fajitas
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
AREN'T WE ALL READY FOR A COOL CHANGE??
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
15 minute run treadmill
10 minute rowing machine
Abd work with medicine ball
Amazingly, I don't feel tired. I am wide awake. Had some breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 piece of whole grain toast, and some fiber one cereal with skim milk.
I do understand the importance of sleep and its restorative function for physical and emotional health. However, I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to start my day with a metabolism boost and a clearing of my head. This food addiction is a very powerful thing. I need the endorphin release to help with my psychological stress. When my stress goes up, I run to the things that give me comfort--fast food. I have insight, now, of this obvious connection between my cortisol levels and poor food choices. I am a type AAA and a chronic worrier. I have many traits associated with those likely to succumb to the pitfalls of addiction. I really should avoid alcohol as well. I don't want to tempt fate by placing myself in any precarious situations.
The peace of mind that I seek comes from a place that I still have not completely tapped into. I am a work in progress and therefore, I will be patient while I traverse the rocky terrain of life. I will remain "wide awake" to all of the possibilities which come my way. I will take the good and the BAD.................
I'm wide awake....I'm wide awake.....I'm not sleeping.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The snow and cold weather have prevented me from running outside. This has probably been good for me to rest my knees and other joints which have recently been abused by my trainer's regimen. I don't mind the cold. I just don't want to bust my ankle on the ice.
I was flipping through the channels today and saw, yet, another wonderful workout program to order off the t.v. It is called Flirty-Girl or something like that. Have you seen this? It is an exercise routine based on exotic dancing (including pole dancing!!!!). Unbelievable. I can get into shape and hone my skills at pole dancing. We all know how poorly the economy is doing and what better way to supplement my income than a little striptease on the side.
Ya know what? More power to the people who buy these programs. If it helps them to lose weight and feel better, I will not judge.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A gentle reminder of why I am changing my life......
Friday, February 13, 2009
Meanwhile, women begin to walk by the room preparing for their aerobic class. As they enter the ass-fume infused room, they don't say a word. Most likely because they are holding their breath.
We then moved to core exercises with the Swiss ball. Speaking of balls, my trainer continued to be relentless about busting mine. We did this "plank" pose thing and he started bitching that my ass was up in the air too high (should look like a push up pose). I retorted, "bullshit, it is your ass that is not straight with the rest of your body." Of course, I could not hold the plank as long as HE-MAN could. "He begins to yell, "Come on, you f***ing pussy!! Try a little harder!!" People continue to walk by wondering what sort of crazy ass military workout we have going on in here. Here I am at 0500 in the a.m. enclosed in sulfurous, blazing hot room that resembles the workout rooms for Dancing with the Stars. I don't feel like a star. Finally, some people come into the room to set up for their class. As we pick up our steps and my pride, I can't help but wonder what these people are thinking about our little session.
Not over yet. Out to the weights, nautilus style. Then abs with medicine balls. By now my body and mind say enough.
Then last night, got home from work late, went to bed and crashed. Sorry about not posting yesterday. I was really friggin' tired. I think I was being worked over for my dietary indiscretions.
I worked 12 hours today, again. No exercise today secondary to knee pain and exhaustion from all of the jumping yesterday.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I remember reading about a guy who once thought he would sue the fast food chains as being liable for his coronary artery disease. He required bypass surgery and felt that the marketing and sales of this food hastened his disease. Although I do believe that the food is addictive and made incredibly convenient, I don't agree that they are responsible. I have talked of this before. Don't blame others for your shortfalls. I made a decision to eat shitty food, therefore I own the end result.
I have gone through many drive-thru joints in my life. I get super pissed if they screw up my order. I have been known to call the manager, email the company, or write letters to the franchise owners. Why is it so difficult to make the order correct. I have made comments such as: I am going to discontinue coming to your restaurant. AS if that hurts their feelings. That'll show 'em. Most of the time I get attitude from employees if I ask for a couple extra packets of ketchup. I makes me seethe inside. For what?
It is time that I get a f*#king clue. They don't care if my order is incorrect. They don't care if I rant to their manager. They could give a rat's ass if I have a left main occlusion and drop dead at 45 years old. These are all signs I have ignored for years. MAYBE I should stand by my threats to not eat at these places. Maybe I should not use the lame-ass excuse that my life is too busy to cook and sometimes it is just easier to "drive thru."
My trainer told me that next time I am feeling weak, I should go to the grocery store and get a healthy meal. He says to "always stay on the outside aisles at the store." "If you move to the middle, they'll getchya."
Tomorrow will be better. I hope...
Hungry (and guilty)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I feel thinner, recently. I am having a real hard time not eating out, though. I have cut out sugary pops, greasy food, and fatty selections. I am still drawn to the occasional indiscretion much to the dismay of my trainer. I am feeling pretty weak right now. It would be only a step away to return to my old ways and I don't want that.
Today, my enthusiasm is fading and I fear that I am slipping off of the wagon. My joints are sore and I feel grumpy and pissed. Sorry to sound like such curmudgeon. I am rarely this nihilistic. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a better frame of mind.
On a more positive note, my wife got her cast off!! Foot is somewhat better. She is doing stretches for plantar fasciitis and hopes for a full recovery. She is strong. She will succeed.
Monday, February 9, 2009
It is really nice to have incorporated activity into my daily lifestyle. Hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago, I was a sloth. Sedentary and moping around the house. Sitting down with a bag of cheetos and ho-ho's. Drinking tons of caffeinated soda to keep my lazy ass awake. Getting acid reflux from all of the caffeine. On Friday of last week, I played a basketball game with my step-son. Kept up the whole time. Had he asked me to play a month ago, I would have said no. Life is short and I intend to play really f*cking hard from here on out. Less television, more reading. More time with my family, less time bitching about how much of a fat ass that I am.
Tonight's choice for sprint time was Soundgarden's Outshined and Murphy's Shipping Up To Boston.
INTENSITY IS ESSENTIAL
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I miss bizmarks.....I miss apple fritters......
I could probably eat these things if I worked out like Michael Phelps (minus the devil's lettuce.)
Talk to ya later..
Saturday, February 7, 2009
I have been thinking. If three miles gives me this clarity, what would increasing the mileage do for me? Say 10 miles, or maybe 26.2. I recently watched this documentary on the Sahara Desert Runners. These crazy bastards ran across the entire Sahara in about 111 days. They averaged about 60 miles a day. They exhausted many pairs of shoes before their blistered and bloodied feet reached their goal. Endurance athletes of this caliber inspire me to do great things. I could do this. Eventually, that is, after conditioning and preparation. Self-fulfillment is found, sometimes, in reaching outside of what one thinks he/she can accomplish. Maybe I'll do an Ironman someday. Think I'm crazy? So be it. I am on fire and the train is gaining speed. Hold on tight and watch. You might be surprised......
Friday, February 6, 2009
Breakfast: Omelet, whole grain (9 grain) toast, juice
Lunch: Turkey on wheat, salad, water
Snack: Light Yogurt
Exercise: Holy shit, I did this circuit that my trainer gave me which consists of upper/lower body and core exercises and it kicked my ass to the cleaners. Heart rate when I finished was about 140 and sweatin' like a whore in church. When I was finished, I felt awesome. Arms and legs a bit shaky. This afternoon, I will do cardio on the treadmill (intervals). More on that later..
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I have been ending some of my workouts with yoga stretches.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Hungry (........gonna fly now!)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Time for my rant, now. So, the other day I am running my ass off at the gym in front of about 15 t.v.'s. The ONE tv in front of me is showing an infomercial regarding a weight loss program. I am sure some of you have seen this crazy ass scheme. It is called "Think and Lose." A man named Don Mannarino created this amazing program which utilizes hypnosis to assist people with weight loss. Let me tell you how they tout this thing: "No more strenuous exercise", "Only takes a few relaxing minutes a day." "Easy and automatic, no will power." They say that Don is the former clinical hypnotherapist under contract to the American Heart Association. Sounds pretty reputable, huh? What's more, I can try it for 30 days risk free!! Why in the hell am I busting my ass with exercise and healthy food choices when I really don't even need to work for it. I can tap into my subconscious mind and make it so I don't crave that McRib. I can eat whatever I want, and will never overeat because of these magical tapes. I think I am going to abandon this whole health kick thing and buy those tapes. Or maybe not.........
What I do believe is that the mind is a very powerful thing. I believe that we have no idea how much we don't know about the brain. I believe in the subconscious. I believe that change has to include the mind as well as the body. But I cannot endorse any "program" where the only LOSING I will experience is in my wallet and not my body fat. What a bunch of bullshit. How could anyone endorse a program that requires "no will power" and "no strenuous exercise." What kind of message does that show our youth? Achieving a goal through hard work, dedication, sacrifice, and will power has an incredible effect on the human psyche. It says "we can prevail. It might be painful, we may not succeed the first time, but we can achieve our goals." Let's promise each other this: we may or may not succeed at making healthy changes in our lives. Maybe, I will fail and go back to my old habits. I don't know. But let's never put our faith in any program where the primary goal is the financial gain of the makers of these products. No offense to Mr. Mannarino. I am sure that his intentions are purely altruistic.
Hungry (and grumpy)